9/1
- She gets the hiccups all the time, and I can't help laughing at the little squeeks coming out of her mouth.
- Her motor skills are improving. Usually she struggles to grasp anything. Last night she was able to grab my finger and pull it into her mouth. She then started sucking, and after a few seconds got frustrated when nothing was coming out of it.
- While cleaning her diaper last night in the family room she projectile pooped all over my shirt, the floor, her clean diaper and her changing table. Never again will I change her while positioned at her end...this is twice now.
- Tried watching Sherlock Holmes last night which was a great movie. But it took us like 4 hours to watch it. She slept through until the end, then she started getting really fussy and we had to keep pausing it to give her attention.
We're home now. They discharged us a day early from the hospital. All in all I couldn't be more please with Crouse Hospital and am so glad we went with them. The staff was excellent to work with. We lucked out too by getting a private room. It was actually a room for two but they never filled the other half, so we had the whole room to take over.
I still don't trust Sam around the baby. He's very curious and keeps licking her in the face. Also, I think it's time to keep the cat off the couches.
We're taking two days to ourselves to get acclimated to our new life together and are not accepting company. If people are interested in stopping by feel free to call us on Sunday. My family plans on stopping by then and staying the night for the fair on Monday. Then they'll probably come up for a week one week later. I'm off work until Tues, and will be working from home all of next week.
Cadence Ann Bleser was born Wed Aug 25th at 2:29 am, weighing 8 lbs 2 oz. Mom and baby are doing great, although we're all very tired. Her arrival was met with curiosity as she stared in awe at the world around her. She smiled at me twice, made a bunch of goofy faces, sneezed once, and then breastfed for an hour. We're now settled into a recovery room while Cadence is bathed. Expect more updates soon!
Wed, 10:38am
Woke up this morning to the sound of baby's crying around 10am. The nurses have been in and out but I slept through most of it. They took her away for about an hour to conduct an analysis, and they just recently brought her back.
She's really sleepy. Right now Marsh is cuddling with her on her chest. I stuck my finger in her palm and she immediately did a death grip on it. Tried shaking it free and she gripped it tighter and started to moan. So I let her have it for awhile.
I think she has my squinty eyes. Her actual eye color is like a hazel-ish. She only cried once this morning, and otherwise has been very peaceful. Although she keeps making these whimpering sounds.
Marsh is taking a total of 10 weeks off form work. Since she had a C-Section she needs to limit her climbing of stairs and cannot drive for 2 weeks. I planned on taking vacation until next Tues, and will be working from home next week.
Thur, 1:54pm
Mom is doing great. She's walking around despite the surgery pain which supposedly helps with healing. She doing great with breastfeeding which baby is learning how to do well. Occasionally she gets frustrated when trying to nurse and isn't able to get fed right away, but she's quite alert and seems to be learning rapidly. They just got done taking her professional pictures taken.
I picked up the dog from the kennel last night around 5pm and then chose to go home around midnight to take care of the dog at night and in the morning. Driving home was rough, it felt like I was drunk. Had to snap my head a few times to stay awake. This morning I slept right until 11am without interruption. Let the dog smell one of the baby's swaddle blankets and it sniffed it really well before quietly bowing down before it. I think he may suspect what's up.
Last night was rough. She was peaceful most of the day, but that night she was crying a lot because she wanted constant feeding. Got to change her diaper for the first time by myself yesterday, with guidance from the nurse. At one point we changed her diaper and had just got her cleaned up, and then it started pouring out of her all over again. Right now her poop is like tar.
We were feeding her earlier today and Marsha wanted to take a break to use the restroom. So I held her to burp her. She started sucking on my shirt to continue feeding. I explained to her that no milk would come out of that so she started sucking on my neck instead. I made sure to shave this morning so it wasn't all scruffy.
Thur, 5:16pm
A few more pictures. Here she is yawning after just waking up, and another with a confused look at her face when I was flashing a camera at her repeatedly.
Been playing classical music and rocking her. It puts her right to sleep. She really seemed to like Beethoven's Appasionata sonata. She also responds to loud noises. At one point we shut a closet door and she immediately jumped in her sleep.
Thur, 8:40pm
We've been making laps around the wing to help with her recovery. Sometimes the pain is really bad for her but they've been keeping her filled with drugs to ease the pain. They keep asking her what her pain number is from 1-10.
I gotta be careful when cuddling with the baby. Was burping her earlier while holding her next to my face, and she got a rash on her face from rubbing up against my stubble.
Wed, 4:54am
Around midnight they decided a c-section was the right decision. Marsha hadn't dilated any further and the baby hadn't descended much. By 1:30am they had us both prepped for surgery. I sat in a waiting room watching the seconds tick away for about 5 minutes as they made the final arrangements, after having downed at least 5 cups of coffee to sustain me on such limited sleep. When ready they brought me into a room where they had Marsha covered from her chest down. I held her hand the entire time and she took it like a champ. We're happy to announce that half an hour later our baby was born. Mom and baby are doing great, and as soon as I can capture some decent photos I'll post another update soon. We're both very tired, and right now the baby is comfortably breastfeeding. She might be asleep, I don't know.
Tues, 10:55pm
Just earlier Marsha really started to feel the pains associated with contractions. She requested an Epidural, and I took that opportunity to grab a cup of coffee and walk around the block. I came back and she was in completely different spirit smiling again. The baby's heart rate is all over the place and she's kicking the monitor, haha. She's definitely most active at night and I wonder if she's gonna adopt my sleep schedule. Either way I suspect all 3 of us will be up late tonight. The nurse is convinced her birthday will be tomorrow.
Tues, 9:35pm
Marsha is still around 3cm dilated. They've upped the dosage of Pitocin beyond the standard rate of 20 mL/hr. The contractions are starting to get uncomfortable for Marsh, and she's getting that worried look on her face where her eyebrows turn up on the inside. Our nurse is a real sweetheart and Marsha recognizes her from when she used to work here. The doctor is waiting patiently.
Tues, 7pm
Marsha is sleeping soundly with the baby's hear beat as background noise. Still no idea when hard labor will begin.
Just got back from Varsity again with her mom where the pizza was really greasy. She's heading home now to get some sleep. I'll probably watch SC2 replays all night until something interesting happens.
Tues, 3:26pm
Contractions are getting slightly more intense but they're not unbearable. Her water has been broken, and the baby is still at -3 (think of it as a Y axis, where 0 is close to exit, 3 is outside, -3 is still somewhat high from the cervix). Could still end up being another day before she emerges.
We didn't get too much sleep last night. Michelle left around 1:30am. I couldn't get comfortable on the chair so I slept on the floor. At roughly 6am the doctors came back to administer Pitocin. I took the chair/bed around 7am to catch up on a few hours of sleep. The ladies watched Shrek on my laptop.
A buddy of mine works here as their sole web developer and I met him for lunch in the hospital cafateria. Had chicken tenders and mac n cheese. Last night I got pizza at Varsity Pizzaria on S.U. square and grabbed a few cookies for Marsha. She's not allowed food right now but we've been eating icies all throughout the days.
Tues, 12:27am
The 4 of us are sleeping over tonight. We had a brief nap before getting woken up for more routine maintenance. Deb is sleeping on a bed in the corner. Michelle is writing in her journal by the glow of the monitor. I'm at Marsha's side taking a quick break to write on the blog.
They're now gonna let us sleep uninterrupted until 5am, at which point they'll be administering Pitocin for the induction. They suspect it'll be later today before things get interesting.
Quiet now, with only the beating of the baby's heart echoing over the monitor throughout the night. Signing off until the morning...
Mon, 11:15pm
This monitor tracked the baby's heart rate (above) and Marsha's pain threshold (below). It would spike every time she got a contraction. I kept flicking her to see if I could influence the monitor.
Mon, 11:06pm
We brought a bunch of snacks and candy to the hospital including cinnamon suckers which Marsha really wanted. She's been asking about them all night but they wouldn't let her have them until just recently. Here's a picture of her trying to hide some in her hospital bed for later (she's laughing, not crying).
Mon, 9:45pm
At the request of the doctor's we went to the hospital tonight for an induced labor, possibly taking place tomorrow. We arrived at 7pm, and since then Marsha's mother and friend Michelle showed up. We've been here joking around, listening to the baby's heart beat and playing Family Feud.
Music is the one incorporeal entrance into the higher world of knowledge which comprehends mankind but which mankind cannot comprehend. - Ludwig van Beethoven
Beethoven wrote 9 grand symphonies in his lifetime, each one embodying a pivotal moment in his life. To him, music was a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy. Like Beethoven, mankind frequently draws parallels to their own life with music while attempting to uncover a deeper meaning in it. I think that's because music itself is a metaphor for life.
Take a symphony for example. Countless players each contribute to the overall melody, much in the way every person we meet has an impact on us individually. A measure defines a segment of time with a given number of beats, while significant milestones often mark vital periods of our life. A theme can dramatically shift to evoke mixed feelings, the same way our own emotions are constantly in flux. When you factor all these elements together with perfect timing there is a sense of harmony that everybody can identify with.
For me, harmony has always been about fulfillment of two very important goals, and each day I've lived subconsciously in pursuit of them. The first goal has led to its fair share of hardships during seeking but that has never shattered my resolve. Many players along the way have helped to steer me in the right path, but it wasn't until one fateful day at the beginning of a new year did I unknowingly come across it. It was a chance encounter that ultimately lead to a lasting companionship based on trust and mutual understanding. I had found someone who appreciated me for who I was despite any flaws. I had found a partner I could explore the world with while sharing a laugh. Really...I had found all I was ever looking for in Marsha.
Now I've never been a religious man...yet strangely I do believe in fate. I suppose that may simply be my optimism trying to make sense of the world. It's the reason why I don't accept regret. To me, everything does happen for a good reason...and I am where I am because I've never skipped a beat along the way. Every now and then things just click to affirm you're on the right path...like the resolution of a dissonance playing out before you. It can be as minor as getting offered $20 to give up your seat on your first date, or as momentous as the clearing of the morning skies in a tropical paradise right before proposing. But even with all this, there was still one obstacle getting in the way of my second goal.
Our move to Liverpool was hasty and done out of urgency. It felt right at the moment, but as time went on we began to accept it as temporary. Because of this we were unwilling to make substantial investments and it became a barrier of progress on many important life decisions. That's not to say we weren't living happily. Liverpool was and always will hold a special place in my heart...but all along we knew what our real plans were and what the right decision was. A house with more room was desired, as well as one that wasn't plagued with as many problems as Liverpool was nor in such need of ongoing maintenance. So 4 years later the hunt began for a suitable replacement. About this same time was when I decided to seek fulfillment of my second life-goal...that being fatherhood.
Moving from one house to another is stressful enough as it is, but trying to juggle this with an increasingly pregnant wife gives new meaning to the feeling. The process began 3 months into the pregnancy. Weeks passed as Marsha's stomach grew and the suspense built. Our efforts to find a house that met the needs of both of us were getting exhausted. Meanwhile there had been no offers on our house. A month passed with a flurry of house showings and us needing to maintain a clean house...a task not easy with an incredibly shaggy dog inhabiting it. If we had to have the baby in Liverpool we certainly could have arranged it, but we both knew how difficult it would have been to eventually get ambition to move with a newborn and potentially another on the way within a few years.
Then one week at the end of April we got miraculously lucky. We had located a house that suited our needs and had our offer accepted without alteration. Two days later an offer was made on our house exactly as it stood. Finally it was the resolution we needed. But as the lawyers were dealing with the logistics we were left uncertain of the move date despite increasing urgency. Two months passed without notice, and then suddenly we were given the approval to move during peak moving time for the nation. It was a moment of scrambling as we had just a few days to orchestrate the closing dates, finalized packing, and arrange a rental truck and sufficient muscle to assist with the move. We even threw a pool table into the mix to keep it exciting. It was necessary for us to vacate the house by the end of June in order for the seller to be eligible for the limited incentive being offered. And to make the situation even more challenging I had a7-month pregnant wife along for the ride.
Needless to say the move was a success and I'm now settled in a place that feels right for us. I'm on the eve of fatherhood with Marsha due anytime in the next 2 weeks. People keep asking me if I'm ready to be a father. I'm not so sure I'll ever be ready...but honestly the timing couldn't have been any more perfect. In 32 years I've never felt more at peace than I do now. I really have to marvel at how smoothly things came together in recent years, at all the steps we took to get to where we are today, and all the challenges we had to overcome together.
Drawing parallels to music again, a harmonic cadence is defined as a progression of at least two chords that concludes a phrase, section, or piece of music. This is the story of two people in love about to conclude their time together without children.
The rhythm of life carries on with the beat of a new heart...
Updated 8/18
- MUST WATCH! MasterAsia vs TT1[1, 2, 3, 4]
- Funny unit quotes: Spectre, Vulture, Firebat, Marauder, Ghost, Wraith
- Funny quote on SC2GDF: In general its odd to me how 3 completely different technologies all use the same currency and materials to build electric fields, teleportors, jet planes, marines, i could see the protoss and humans MAYBE buying these things through say like an intergallactic trader but for the zerg is an overseer gonna float down to the trade market and the sellers would say "what do you want" and the overseer says "BALKDJRLEKDJAF LDJFD" and they go oh ok some zergling spawn eggs you got it.
- Amazing game between TheLittleOne and MadFrog. It's games like this which demonstrate why I'm so fascinated with SC2. There's so much depth and strategy to it, with a reflexive component built into it. TLO is the man and this is a must watch. Part 1, Part 2
Updated 8/10
- Went 5-0 on my 1v1 placement matches which dropped me in Platinum. I get such a rush from playing this game competitively...like no other game. The last placement game lasted an hour and was constant back and forth. Need to get 5 team wins in and I complete Exploration achievements
- Entertaining game, TheLittleOne, TvT: Part 1, Part 2. This guy is so entertaining to watch...he always tries out the most clever tactics.
Updated 7/21
- Everything You Need To Play Starcraft II
- This game is being advertised everywhere! YouTube, Kotaku, all gaming outlets, it's all over Korea (on buildings, planes, etc). I read Blizzard spent $100 million making this game. Who knows how much they spent on advertising.
- StarCraft Economy
- Ghosts of the Past Trailer
Updated 7/20
- Very exciting game, WhiteRa vs. Masq: 1, 2
- Watch Masq destroy Idra, an American Pro SC player living in Korea with a bad attitude and who likes to rage when he loses: Game 1, Game 2
- GameStop midnight openings.
Updated 7/16
- So damn excited! I plan on doing a midnight release of this game and I'm taking the 27th off from work to play all day :P
- Beta ends 7/19. I didn't really play too much during the first wave because of MW2, but now that it's close to release I've been playing more to get practice. Plus I enjoy going after achievements and they just added a ton.
- Can't decide what race to specialize in. The Protoss has always been my favorite and they made them so much cooler in SC2. But the Terrans are just so versatile and have much more depth and strategy. Still don't enjoy playing as the Zerg and think they're the least interesting race.
- Units guides: Protoss, Terran, Zerg
- After getting the game I'll probably do 5 quick placement matches to crush some newbs and get ranked in 1v1, then play the campaign to see how the story continues, and then go after achievements in custom games. I'm such an achievement whore.
- Cool song:
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- Really digging this track for the Terrans:
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What an unpleasant experience. I wanna say I've blogged the exact same thing the last time I went as this seems all too familiar. The entire time I sit there with my hands folded, trying to hide the uncomfortable feeling of having your teeth and gums scraped...yet I'm gripping my fingers tightly in a tense format with a look of anguish in my closed eyes. I brush twice a day but have never voluntarily flossed since my teeth are so close. When he's done flossing my teeth I can see the blood on the string. My thought process throughout the entire ordeal is this: "Hang in there, it'll be over soon. Just hang in there. Only half an hour at the most and you'll be done. Your wife can deal with 9 months of pregnancy and childbirth, the least you can do is suffer through a routine dental cleaning". My teeth are left aching all day long. My reward for going is always Burger King for lunch.
Back in college I chipped my front teeth and have had them filled a few times, but they always seem to break off. About a month ago I felt a piece fall off my bottom front tooth, and now it hurts whenever I bite into something hard like toast. Gotta go back next week to get it filled again.
This has got to be one of the most annoying songs of 2009. Every time they play it on the radio I get filled with the urge to punch a kitten. Who they hell decided it was clever to use the phrase 'is you'? The video is downright annoying too.
That's one crazy toy. The baby can bounce in it and rotate herself around to play with the various toys dangling form it. It plays a bunch of music including Chopin's Minute Waltz which I once played for a concert in college! Behind it is the pack and play which doubles as a bassinet and changing table.
Now that we're wrapping things up with the house I need to take pictures of it all while it's still clean and not cluttered with baby toys everywhere. Today the fence company installed the posts, and next week they should have it wrapped up. Still need to hang a few items in the nursery but otherwise it's all set.
Last night we could tell that the baby had the hiccups, haha. Marsha's stomach was bouncing every 30 seconds.
Paul Oakenfold's Tranceport CD is a continuous mix of trance music blending from one song to the next. Songs 3-5 on that album I believe represent the pinnacle of his work and are among my favorite. It is physically impossible for me to resist the urge to tap my feet or bob my head while listening to these 3 songs in sequence.
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